That time of the month…

Ladies, this is a sensitive and delicate subject. Gents, don’t even bother reading any more – just click away now. We’re talking periods. That time of the month. Riding the crimson wave. I don’t know about you but if my lady area decides to have a paddy then there’s no hope for me… my day is ruined and I’m about as productive as a chocolate teapot. For those few days a month I can be overwhelmed with uncomfortable, painful cramps that make me feel rubbish and basically want to sit in a bath eating chocolate until it stops. I always have to have endless supplies of paracetamol, hot water bottles and gin within reaching distance just to get me through – which is why my new discovery is literally going to change those few days a month into something that resembles normality.

Allay is a “revolutionary, drug-free treatment for pain and discomfort associated with menstruation.” It’s basically this funny little circular wire attached to a microchip thingy which emits some kind of pulse into your body to counteract that heavy, throbbing and skanky feeling that we all get every so often. You literally pop the microchip to turn it on, slip the little device (which is about 15cms long) into the pouch and shuv it down your knickers! That doesn’t sound very delicate, but basically you place it where you experience discomfort and pull up your sexy thong (or period granny pants) over the top. It’s so small that you can’t see, feel or notice it in any way – so much so that literally every time I went to the loo I got a shock when this popped out from nowhere!

Not very glam, but it works!

Considering I normally spend three days a month hibernating, with this I completely felt like it was any other day. On the first day of my period I was in so much discomfort that I was doubled over, but once I popped this out of it’s packet it didn’t leave my skin for three days. I normally wake up in the night with grumbles and discomfort but with Allay I had absolutely none… nada, squat, zilch. I normally feel really sicky, very bloated and uncomfortable but with Allay I felt as normal as you can after drinking lattes and eating Twirls. I love the fact you can literally put it to work, forget about it and get on with your life.

The microchip – about the size of a 50p coin

Allay lasts between five and seven days so it will get you through your whole period. It’s a disposable product so once it’s done it’s done so you do have to keep re-buying if you want to keep using it. At £9.95 it’s not a cheap thing to buy every month, but I think us ladies know that’s a small price to pay for having a stress and pain free lady time and probably the amount you spend on pain relief per month anyway! These are only available from Allay’s website at the moment but you can have a free trial or sign up to a longer term plan if it works for you. They’ve got a really great video to give you more info too, but take it from me – Allay is definitely worth a look. Not the most glamorous post I’ve ever written, but probably the most interesting!



  1. Dempeaux
    February 17, 2011 / 1:06 am

    This is such an hilarious post, but it's so true! I can relate to everything you've said. I went to the website to order, but they don't ship internationally 🙁

  2. xXMaNdAXx
    February 17, 2011 / 8:36 am

    this is a really good post!! not everyone can understand what women go through when they suffer from period pains etc.. and not to mention the mood swings I get. Apart from all that since I suffer from Irritable Bowel syndrome as well during my period I get doubled up stomach pains due to the IBS & period. It's really uncomfortable. thanks for the post xoxo

  3. MakeupbyThess
    February 17, 2011 / 11:29 am

    oh my my my.. give it to me now haha.. I'm in so much pain right now but I have to work away the last paperwork before I can go home and take a bath.. =(

  4. London Beauty Queen
    February 17, 2011 / 8:36 pm

    Glad I'm not the only one! The things we have to suffer just for being female. Dempeaux – such a shame they don't ship! I'm sure there must be something similar available for you to hunt down : )

  5. G A B Y
    February 17, 2011 / 9:39 pm

    Interesting! I never knew such a thing existed!

  6. Jennifer
    March 1, 2011 / 8:47 pm

    I've not tried this and wish it had been around when I was having problems! If you are having severe problems then do see a gynaecologist as there are other options. I had horrific periods- every month the school nurse had to ring my mother to come pick me up, I was curled in a ball, migraines, vomiting, PMS- the whole 9 yards! But I now have a mirena and would recommend it to anyone. Having them fitted/replaced isn't a walk in the park but I know I'm now covered for contraception and my periods now last three days and are little more than spotting. So whilst this is a great solution, if you need something more permanent the Mirena is an option.And as it is locally delivered, the hormone levels in your blood are about 5% of what you get with the pill so none of the scary side effects!

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